ValterValyun's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Not Today]

I would've given this at least a 4 or 4.5, but there's a good number of flaws I've noticed.

First, the good -- The colors you used for this animation is well-selected; the blacks work well to contrast the high-intensity of the colors. And the minimalistic design on the characters is a nice choice for this look.

Okay, now the bad -- During the scene when the cops and the ambulance arrived at that woman's house, all your animation, and all the action happening is way too close to the bottom of the screen. There's so much negative space in that scene, I almost missed on what's happening.

Not to judge on the choice of music, but the fast pace of the music doesn't really match well to the slow-timing of the animation. (Okay, maybe I'm not the best guy interpreting the lyrics of the song) For example, when the guy's knocking on the door three times, he just walked back in a normal pace. That doesn't tell me well enough that he's worried of what's happening.

Again (if you'd rather keep that timing of the animation), it goes upon the staging, composition issues. May if you have some close-up shots of the characters, maybe that will enhance the mood of the song.

Not saying this video's bad, (I like it and all) but a lot of things can be improved.

ArsenalStudios responds:

Thanks VLanimate. It was done on limited time (3days) for a co-worker that created some background music for another animation I did. I dig the critique. thanks again.

[Final]

Since you said this is a class project, I'll my pointers to you so you can improve when the next time you animate.

Overall, the animation is really great, and I like the simple story you put in there (The guy having a hard time opening the can with a regular opener and then uses an electric, auto-opener).

However, there were some shots in this scene that are a bit rushed, probably after 00:10. You have some shots that depicts the guy's emotion; just linger that shot just about maybe a second or two longer so that the audience can know what he's feeling (anger, surprised, etc.)

Then again, the video is at 20 seconds so I have a feeling your teacher or professor's limiting on your time on the project, which is understandable. You don't have to stop there if you wanna continue adding on.

For the walk (this is more of a technical standpoint), watch out for your swinging arms. The swinging distance is fine, but it's just evenly-spaced. Add ease-in's and out's so the walk looks more natural.

Hope my advice helps you a bit.

jlboocker responds:

It helps a lot, thanks. I was limited on the time of the animation and the amount of time to work on it. If I had more time, I wouldn't have done everything in Flash and done it on paper. For the walk, I just did a quick cycle and repeated it, and I feel bad because it wasn't my greatest walk. There are some things I wish I would have noticed before hand, but overall I'm happy with it. Thanks again.