Oh! Didn't noticed you uploaded this here! This film turned out really nicely!
Hey there! Thanks again for your work.
We did a good job, fellas! May we look forward for next year's collab!
Mmm . . . It's alright, but the lip shapes doesn't have much variance, therefore the lip-sync doesn't match well to the quotes. It actually bothers me to be honest.
No probs will keep note next time round, cheers
Alright, I'm going to give my two cents on a critique, and I mean a thorough critique, including of what I believe that needs fixing (a lot actually)
Overall, the line work is sloppy, and I mean really sloppy. It's almost if your hand was shaking so badly, you couldn't get a decent straight line. At least make the effort of drawing a straight line for your hard-edged objects (poster, picture frame, window, desk, etc.)
Your staging is too weak, and it doesn't reinforce the mood for your storytelling. But I have some suggestions to fix it (might be hard to explain it in words):
- The first part with the guy at his laptop (or desktop -- I cannot tell since the perspective is weird), instead of having the perspective being awkward, trying to view from a bird's eyes (cuz that's what is trying to look like at the moment), have the camera view at eye level where the table is, and maybe shift him more to the left instead of being too centered.
- Another example to point out is where the guy knocks down the door. Same problem; camera view is flat, and it's too centralized. Have the camera view from the floor looking up towards him at a long distance, and maybe angle it a bit to break up that centralization. That could reinforce the staging, making the audience a bit anxious of what's happening next (I'll explain that again later).
Animation-wise, 90% of your video lacks of it. The only part I can consider an animation is the guy blinking his eyes -- gotta do more than just static images. Animating simple movements, like moving his mouse, or have Tracer move about on the screen, or even actually animate the door knocked open (or broken down; that would've been badass). Just the little things can help liven your video a bit. Right now, it looks "dead."
Referring back to the "knocking down Blizzard's door" scene, what I would've done was that I have him break down the door by kicking it (like what you have here), draw out his shurikens, and then have that same close-up shot but to his eyes getting angry rather than his whole head. Might give some intensity happening there.
Story-wise, I kinda get what's going on: guy gets mad about Tracer, marches to Blizzard and knocks down it's door . . . . and the last part I'm a bit confused on. I think he (assuming he a Blizzard staff member) got beaten up by the main guy, but it's not reading it as that. To me, it just looks like some guy standing against wall, looking disgusted (probably another staging in perspective issue). You could have the main guy standing right beside the Beated Blizzard on the floor, boasting at him showing who's boss.
Minor stuff --
- The Main Guy (at close-up) getting angry doesn't look 'angry,' -- he looks disgusted.
- Tracer on computer screen -- I almost missed it as a computer screen. Could've at least put the computer logo (Adele I think it was) somewhere on it's rim.
- I get you might wanna joke around by adding 7-11 or Tom Fulp's place near Blizzard HQ, but at least make the effort to make Blizzard HQ look like Blizzard HQ. Google-Image it; it really doesn't look like that.
TL; DR -- Sloppy linework, weak staging in perspective, lack of animation (needs more in-betweens / frames), and story could've been fleshed out more. Apologies if I sound a bit harsh, but I'd rather be thorough. At least I pointed out what needs fixing.
thanks for your help, but for the record i don't have a drawing tablet yet, so i cant do much about the linework.
Well done on the music video!
Nice attempt on animating water by hand, and water's really a difficult thing to master. Though I wished you elaborate more of the open water rather than just leaving it as a tweened, rectangular blue sea. Perhaps adding subtle texture would make it more appealing.
Splashes could use a bit more work and a bit more referencing.
And when the mermaid splashes into the air, your splashes isn't really locking down well in sync with the shifting water at around 0:50.
And around 0:45, the perspective of the ripples is really bugging me out. It looks too flat.
Thanks for the feedback appreciate it ^^, yeah i do feel i should of added more into the water effects and spent some more time on the music video. Overall had a time issue since the group wanted the song out earlier then i really wanted it to be released, which effected the final result of the overall music video. Oh well.... still turned out alright, thanks again mate, cheers.
This collab does not deserve the Daily 5th Place, let alone passing judgment through the Movie Portal.
Except flippingburgers, all of these animations lack in life, skill, and quality. Too many tweens, lacking in most of the 12 principles, and barely an effort on backgrounds and character animation that could bring them to life.
SB-Anims, do you really believe your work is at the professional level?
You, StykzXAnimate, SonicCrashNinjago, MinSouls, SkylorTAC40, Xbox101, and XMorph360 -- all of you alt accounts are an embarrassment to the artisans on NG.
Disagree, then you have no place -- wait, no -- the RIGHT to call yourself an artist.
No, I'm an animator and the artist, so other 5 entry sucks, but flippingburgers and minsoul was better, and my second part, so i've have sonic collab comming: http://sb-anims.newgrounds.com/news/post/964124
An alright demo reel. What I'd recommend on that 0:37 mark, you might want to lower the music down there temporary and add her voice in there. That way, clients would want to know your skill in lip-syncing.
Though I would work on her character animation a bit cuz it's hurting my eyes seeing her arms go from one pose to another without in-betweens.
Speaking of in-betweens, I have to ask this. I noticed in every animation you worked on, your fps seems like it staggers a lot. It almost looks like it is either animated in 3s or 4s, or you didn't put enough in-betweens to make the animation look smooth.
Hello Mr VLanimate,
Thanks for your review, i made a separate video for clients but valid point as for her character animation its on purpose influenced by jaiden animation and Tonyvtoons. In-betweens in general i tend to not add enough in something to work on, by the way thanks for watching my videos ^^.
Take it down; Newgrounds is not a place to upload video recordings of gameplay.
I WANT IT BLAMMED SO I GET RANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY WON'T THIS VIDEO BLAMMED?!?!?! DO NOT COMMENT ON MY MOVIES, AND AUDIO!!! IM SICK OF IT!!! Understood?
Only comment on my arts but... do not vote
THAT TAKES TOO LONG
sorry about it...
Please do not upload content that doesn't belong to you. If you need to upload stuff as reference for someone, upload it on your DumpGrounds and send its link to someone.
thanks i dint even know there was such a thing.
I don't know what the others are saying, but I actually understood it (though not the very last bit). I see it is more of how the main character grows up. But it is not really reinforcing on the story you are going for.
Luckily, there's a lot of stuff you can just easily cut out and shorten the amount of scenes you need to animate. You can just begin the story at 1:38 with the main character looking like he's having a bad day and gets his incoming calls from his peers, making his day worse.
For the ending, I don't know how you will go about this. All I see is the devil comes up behind him, eats him up, and then goes into heaven? I kind of see it as a bad ending where he just wants to give up.
Maybe instead, for example, he embraces the devil (since he symbolizes 'stress') and deals with him. You can do whatever you want with it; fight it, absorb it, shout at it. You can play around with it.
Then he'll take a deep breath, and moves on like nothing bad affected him.
Really good outputs have come from You, I'll definetely , try it out
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